Anyone who has moved from one home to another will tell you it is stressful under the best conditions.
Leacey Brown, an Extension Gerontology Field Specialist at South Dakota State University, says that for seniors it can be positively traumatic!
The memories of family gatherings, raising children, and entertaining friends are locked into our homes. This home becomes an extension of ourselves but cannot always remain our residence as we age. Leacey Brown says, “Even when an older person makes the decision to move on their own, it can be very challenging.”
Further, she explained that having to move because of illness, disability, injury, makes the experience traumatic.
The medical community has given this a name: Transfer Trauma Syndrome or Relocation Stress Syndrome, characterized by symptoms such as anxiety, confusion, hopelessness, and loneliness.
It is important to ease the transition and fortunately, there are ways to do this. The most important thing to remember is to be realistic and deal with the workload to be addressed and the available timeframe.
Remember when making decisions about what to take to the new home, you are working through what amounts to a “math problem.” If it took 30, 40, or 50 years to fill the home with belongings, it cannot magically be sorted in a few months. It is never too early to get started in this process even if moving isn’t imminent. Statistics show that more often, a decision to move may be caused by a health crisis or the fact that a waiting list position at an assisted living community has come up and deadlines are looming. Starting now when there are no deadlines gives you the luxury of spending time on and feeling comfortable with the decisions.
- Involve your seniors in the decision-making. Let them help select their new home in whatever ways are appropriate.
- Answer their questions honestly. Acknowledge their fears and validate their feelings.
- Try not to argue. If something becomes an especially difficult hurdle, re-direct to another area of the house or a less “loaded” category such as clothing or kitchen items.
- Don’t downplay the importance of the emotional effects. Take photos of sentimental items that cannot be moved and note family memories associated with the home or these special things.
- Downsize the home in manageable amounts of time. Making decisions about possessions can be difficult. Sort in no more than three-hour periods. Try for a goal of 2-3 of these sessions/week to start and add or reduce as needed to meet deadlines.
- Start with rooms used less frequently – the basement, guest bedrooms, or closets.
- Use stickers or signs to determine piles of TAKE, GIVE TO FAMILY, TRASH, DONATE, SELL.
- Whenever possible, try to recreate the old home in the new home. Invest time in recreating the feeling of “home” at their new location. Take photos of the top of the dresser, bedside tables, or bookshelves and set up the furniture and décor to recreate the space. This not only adds to the familiarity but also assists with locating items and knowing that items physically “made it” in the move and were not lost or forgotten.
- Consider hiring a senior move manager, who can help sort out belongings and assist in their disposition. A SMM also becomes the sounding board, go-between, and compassionate expert who can move the process steadily along, meeting deadlines, and progressing to the target dates of staging, listing, and cleaning the home … packing for the move, managing the move, and setting up the new residence.
If you have questions about how you can reduce the stress of moving, email Marie LeBlanc or call 617-513-0433.