Moving an elderly parent out of the family home into an assisted living community or nursing home, can be more than stressful for all concerned. However, here are ways in which you can ease the transition to make it a smooth and comfortable process.
Have “the conversation.” It is important that adult children be up front about their concerns for the safety and well-being of a parent. Having a frank discussion about the options available and allowing the parent to be part of the process is important to provide an atmosphere of collaboration and self-confidence.
Do research together. Use online search engines to locate viable communities or nursing homes in the desired geographic areas. Talk about the area and what may be available in terms of nearby stores, hair salons, and friends. Make up a list of those you can visit together.
Visit communities together. Encourage mom or dad to visit several facilities to take a tour, eat a meal, and speak with residents and staff. They will feel much more a part of the process and you’ll get an idea of the type of community that resonates with them.
Downsizing is a process. When it comes time to make choices for what to move, it is vital that mom or dad be included in the decisions. Everything must fall under one of four designations: Move it; give it away; sell it; or dispose of it some other way. The floor plan will dictate what can be moved to the new space. Family members can be the recipient of other furniture or décor. What family members do not want can be donated to a number of worthy charities … and during this process, there will be those things that are unwanted and can be disposed of.
Make it personal. Even though the new apartment may be a lot smaller, address the new space with an eye towards making it as much like home as possible. Having a floor plan, drawn to scale, helps to ensure that only what will fit is moved. Hanging the same curtains, stocking the bookshelf, and hanging photos and placing knick-knacks the way they were, all help to replicate the look and familiar feeling of “home.”
Ask for help. A smooth transition requires planning and process. Ask family members and friends to lend a hand. Encourage them to visit often before and after the move to help with the emotional ups and downs.
If adult children are distant geographically or if assistance is needed to help with feelings of frustration or resentment, a professional move manager can be the answer. Move managers can form a friendly, yet disciplined relationship with the elderly, which will go a long way towards keeping the process on task toward a successful conclusion.
For more information about the role of a professional move manager, call 617-513-0433 or email marie@transitionsliquidation.com.