When active parents begin to slow down and experience the effects of aging and ill health, one option is to sell the home and move in with adult children. Adult children, if nearby, can step in to help with food shopping, errands, and trips to and from the doctor’s office. But … if the situation declines and there are clues that the parents are no longer able to take care of their home and themselves, moving in with their children may be an alternative.
Making the decision to move a parent into your home (or moving in with your parents), is not an easy one. The Family Caregiver Alliance* suggests that the following issues be considered before this important decision is made.
Family Relationships
It goes without saying that you will need to talk to your parents about moving. Before you even broach the subject, though, be sure you have addressed these questions:
- How do my spouse and children feel about moving your parent(s) into your home? How will it change your lives?
- What will be easy for your family to discuss and negotiate about living together? What will be difficult?
- What is your ability to care for your parent(s) at home? What are your limitations?
- If you have siblings, how will they feel about the move and how will they contribute in time and activity?
- Will your parents’ friends be able to visit at your home? What other social outlets will be available to your parents?
- What are your family members’ needs for privacy?
Adapting Your Home
- Where will your parent(s) sleep? Do you have adequate room to provide a bedroom, bathroom, and perhaps a sitting room for their use?
- Will your parent(s) require any assistive devices – a raised toilet seat, ramp, grab bars?
- Does your family have a pet and how will that affect your new living arrangement? Do your parents have a pet that will need to move with them?
Personal Care
- Are you comfortable helping your parent bathe or dress? If your parent is incontinent, can you handle the necessary responsibilities?
- If your parent’s condition changes, can you deal with needing nursing care or having to move your parent to a nursing home?
- Are you willing and can you afford respite care when you need a break?
- How is your own health and will you be able to take care of yourself while at the same time being a caregiver?
Financial Arrangements
- How will the new living arrangement increase your household expenses?
- Will your parent expect to contribute? Will you charge rent?
- Will your work situation or that of your spouse have to change? How will that affect the family finances?
Juggling Time
- Who will provide necessary care during the day, if needed?
- How will you integrate new responsibilities into childcare obligations, your marriage, and your social life?
- How will you ensure you have time to take care of yourself?
Once you have discussed these issues with your family and your parents, you will have a much better idea of what this change will mean for all of you.
If you have questions about transitions and how to make them less stressful, call Marie LeBlanc at Transitions Liquidation Services at 617-513-0433 or email marie@transitionsliquidation.com.